Rochu: Sticky Chapter 4

Pairing: Rochu (Ivan x Yao) | Genre: Lemon, Humour, Romance | Rating: R-18

Synopsis: It's Dumpling Festival and Yao is making rice dumplings for dinner with Ivan and his siblings. Ivan drops by a little too early and decides that he wants more than dumplings. First published on 14 June 2010 to commemorate Dumpling Festival.

All characters (C) Axis Powers Hetalia & Hidekaz Himaruya. Characters and story are not representative of actual nations and events.

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Chapter 4 - Mysterious Headaches

Yao opened his eyes slowly, his body throbbing in pain from its thorough usage. His lower body ached, reminding him of his intense and passionate lovemaking with Ivan, but for some inexplicable reason, his head was giving him the most trouble. He rubbed his sore skull as he tried to rearrange his thoughts in an organized manner. The last thing he saw was Ivan's devilishly smiling face inching towards him before his vision grayed out. He had no further recollection of what happened after that. Did this mean that he had collapsed in the middle of having sex? How embarrassing! What kind of man was he if he could not even tolerate his partner's 'acts of affection', as Ivan was fond of calling it. Compared to the times when Ivan did knock Yao out with his ravenous appetite, Ivan was actually considerably gentle this time, if you could even use such a word to describe the zealously lusty Russian.

Yao turned on his side, half-dreading, half looking forward to seeing his lover grin at him from his side of the bed. To his surprise, he drew a blank. Ivan was not lying beside him, nor was he present anywhere in the room as a matter of fact. Yao sat up straight, throwing the blankets off him. He was astonished to find himself fully-clothed in clean clothes and free from perspiration and sticky mess. Annoyance at his lover turned to alarm. Ivan hardly ever took initiative to let him get cleaned up, much less clean him up after sex "just in case we're going for another round". The only time he did was before he had to leave the world to adopt a new form following the disintegration of the Soviet Union. Yao had woken up the next day in the same situation, fully clothed and cleaned as though nothing had happened, safe for the memories and bodily aches.

The unhappy retrospection frightened his still-groggy self into letting his most unpleasant imaginations run wild. He ran around the room frantically, diving under the bed and opening all the cupboards and drawers. Such was his distress that when Ivan came back to the bedroom, he quickly found himself with his arms full of sobbing lover.

"I... I thought... I thought..." Yao stuttered, unable to get the words out.

"Sorry, my poor little sunflower," Ivan murmured as he showered Yao's tearful face with kisses. "I was in the kitchen. I didn't want to wake you up."

Yao opened his mouth to accept Ivan's tongue, letting the feel of the agile organ possess his mouth. Ivan felt his manhood rise. Yao was most agreeable when he was upset. He snaked his hand into the hem of his pants...

"I poured the vodka over the dumplings like you said. Now what?" in walked Xiang suddenly, inciting a shocked gasp and violent shove from Yao.

"Xiang!" Yao goggled at his younger brother. A deeply disgruntled Ivan massaged his crushed butt on the bedroom floor.

"Oh sorry," Xiang mumbled and made to retreat. Then he leaned back in through the door and called, "By the way, how's your head, Da Ge?"

"My head? What's wrong with my head? How do you know that something's wrong with my head aru?" Yao demanded, his increasingly hurting head now swarming with questions like what Xiang was doing in his house and why had he poured vodka over dumplings. Dumplings... The shocked expression on Yao's face contorted to horror as the answer became apparent.

"Aiya! I'm supposed to make dumplings for Xiang and Wan! And Xiang is already here! Aiya aiya aiya!" Yao chewed agitatedly on the edge of his sleeve.

"It's all right, everyone is helping out. I have everything under control. Calm down, Da Ge," Xiang said.

"Everyone? Who's everyone aru?" Yao cried, upset at the prospect of being labeled a terrible host who made his guests prepare their own food.

"Aniki! Your breasts are mine!" Xiang found himself being shoved into an open wardrobe as Yong Soo trampled past him, hands in an outstretched motion towards his unsuspecting big brother.

Kiku grabbed Yong Soo's long hanbok with the best intentions of preventing him from inflicting further trauma to Yao's undoubtedly battered body. Yong Soo lost his balance and fell headlong into Ivan's lap.

"Kiku! I wasn't expecting you! I thought you were busy with the World Cup!" Yao pounced on Kiku and hugged him tightly.

"Well, family comes first," Kiku blushed slightly as he patted his brother on the back, inciting a snort from Ivan. The jealous Russian vented his anger by smacking the fallen Korean on his head.

"OW! Aniki! He hit my already hurting head!" Yong Soo wailed as Ivan shoved him out off his lap.

"Yong Soo! You came too!" Yao detached himself from Kiku and gave Yong Soo a rare but quick hug.

"What's wrong with your head aru?" Yao asked as he helped Yong Soo to his feet.

"It huuurts da-ze~" Yong Soo flapped his sleeves wildly. "My brain's been doing somersaults in my head ever since I got here!"

"Really? That's odd, I have a headache too aru," Yao mused, as the throbbing in his head announced its presence again.

"Headaches originate from me da-ze!" Yong Soo sang.

"For once, you got that right," Xiang dusted his sleeves as he crawled out of the wardrobe.

"Aniki! I'm hungry! I've been waiting for hours and hours da-ze! Wan is still doing her make-up, Xiang doesn't know what he's doing, Kiku-hyung takes half an hour just to wrap one miserable dumpling and all Ivan wants to do is make disgusting Vodka dumplings da-ze! Go make dinner!" Yong Soo rubbed his empty stomach piteously, oblivious to the fumes of anger radiating from the people he had just thoughtlessly criticized.

"You didn't even lift a finger to help!" Xiang complained, stung by the jibe at his lack of domestic talents.

"I fainted and was out cold for hours like Kiku-hyung said, wasn't I? You couldn't possibly make a sick person do work da-ze!"

"Hours? Do you mean... you all have been here for hours? And what's this about Yong Soo fainting aru?" Yao widened his eyes in alarmed. He glanced at his clock. Barely less than two hours ago, he was being sexually assaulted right in this room by a certain starving Russian. Did this mean that...

Yao felt his face turn hot as he choked on invisible tears, "you saw... you saw Ivan and I..."

"No we did not," Xiang replied a little too quickly for comfort.

"Ahahaha Yao-nii," Kiku laughed awkwardly. "You know how Yong Soo enjoys exaggerating. Actually, we only just got here. Right, Ivan-kun?"

"Da~! Poor little Yong Soo fainted because I greeted him a little too enthusiastically with my water pipe~" Ivan placed an arm threateningly around the Korean's neck, intimidating him from speaking further.

"Yes. When we saw you, you were already fully-clothed and clean," Xiang tried to salvage his mistake, only to have dug a deeper hole in the ground. Kiku kicked him hard in one leg and Ivan trod hard on a foot.

"In conclusion~ they arrived only after I finished eating my early dinner~" Ivan smiled suggestively.

Yao blushed, but refusing to get distracted, he narrowed his eyes and watched their faces searchingly. Three pairs of eyes stared back as earnestly as they could (Yong Soo was too busy trying to wrestle free from his prison warden), willing the Chinese nation to accept their half-baked lies. Xiang was just beginning to feel his eyes water from the strain when a welcome distraction arrived in the form of Wan.

"Da Ge~!" The vivacious young lady squealed as she threw her arms around Yao's neck.

"Wan-wan!" Yao exclaimed, surprised but pleased that his favourite little sister was so excited to see him.

"How are you? You haven't come to visit me in ages!" Yao said anxiously, all his own fears having evaporated sky-high into the clouds.

"I'm very well, Da Ge. All thanks to you~!" Wan giggled happily. She stretched out a hand behind her and extended three fingers to make an 'OK' sign at her accomplices.

As Yao fussed over Wan, Kiku mopped perspiration off his brow, Xiang let a tear flow freely and Ivan released Yong Soo. Yet another day had passed, in which Yao had been spared heart-attack-inducing details of his perverted siblings' voyeuristic fetish. In spite everyone's differences, there was unanimous agreement that Yao did not need to know the truth behind his and Yong Soo's mysterious headaches.

It would certainly do no good for Yao to learn of how Yong Soo, having come round outside Yao's front door to find himself alone, had barged into the bedroom just as the couple was about to make love for another time. Out of the blue, Xiang came soaring in through the bedroom window, legs extended in a flying split. In one powerful motion, he kicked both Ivan and Yong Soo hard on their heads. Yong Soo passed out promptly, while Ivan's head rammed against Yao's. Thanks to cushioning from his thick skin and big bones, Ivan received a temporary headache, but Yao went out like a light. Exactly what Xiang wanted. His poor big brother really did not need to know how out of four siblings he brought up, two of them were perverts while another was a moron. Some truths were better left concealed forever.


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It was the middle of next day when Wan woke up with a nasty hangover from Vodka dumplings. She felt weak and ill, but she was immensely satisfied. Thanks to her wonderful big brother and his boyfriend, she had finally finished drawing the hot yaoi sex scene for her doujinshi, the one and only obstacle that stood before her submission deadline to Yaoi Times, the most prestigious fan magazine in Japan. Having sent Xiang to submit her completed pages to the editor, Wan lazed in bed, fantasizing about receiving tonnes of fanmail from her grateful readers.

Her cell phone rang and she glanced at the display monitor. "Ah, here's one," she said happily to herself before answering it.

"Hi Elizaveta~!"

"Wan! I just saw the new copy of Yaoi Times! Your section was so hot! You bled my nose dry!" The Hungarian fujioshi shrieked into her ear.

"Thank you teacher. It's all thanks to you for teaching me the tricks of the trade! Kiku-nii has been very helpful too!" Wan replied happily.

"No, no, you must teach me your tricks. I offered Yao Lake Balaton in return for some tame pictures of him and Ivan kissing and he won't even budge. And yet here you've got him going all the way for the camera. I know there's the saying 'Blood is thicker than water', but still, that Chinese prude doesn't strike me as someone who would allow such provocative photos to be taken no matter what. How did you persuade him? Tell meeee!" Elizaveta blubbered.

"What? How did you know that I got my muse from them when the doujin is of Sebastian and Ciel?" Wan replied, utterly confused.

"What doujin, dear? I only saw a page of photos of Yao and Ivan credited under you and Kiku."

Wan ended the baffling conversation, feeling greatly unsettled. She was about to put the blame on hallucinations from Vodka intoxication and go back to sleep when an urgent series of knocking sounds came from outside her door. She opened the door to let in a distressed-looking Xiang pulling a suitcase behind him.

"What happened?" she asked worriedly. Xiang hardly ever displayed any expression on his face unless it was a life and death situation.

"Quick, pack your bags, we must run now," Xiang said with a manic expression on his face. He grabbed the nearest bag he saw and began shoving Wan's things into it.

"Hey!" Wan shouted in protest. "What are you doing? Say something! You're scaring me!" she tugged urgently at his sleeve.

Xiang turned to look at her. Suddenly, tears began falling down his cheeks.

"I've done it again..." he said tearfully.

"Done what? Stop crying and speak up!" Wan grabbed his shoulders and shook him urgently.

Xiang opened up the large brown envelope in his hand, revealing a CD labeled 'doujinshi'.

"In my drunken stupor, I gave the editor the CD labeled 'photos' instead. We're in so much trouble now..."

An angry roar rang out from further North.

"WANG XIANG! WANG WAN! HONDA KIKU! IM YONG SOO! IVAN BRAGINSKI! I WILL KILL ALL OF YOU ARU!"

"Killing originates from... No wait, what did I do da-ze? Help! Put that sword down!"

THE END.